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Woman with sweating under armpit in shopping center

Today, dear readers, I will bring up a — hot subject — Looking Ladylike in the Heat! There you are, driving your swanky car this summer, all decked-out and anticipating a really nice warm day. You locate that rogue parking space, look in the rearview for a last touch up before you slide out into the world, and what do you see? No! Droplets, nay, rivers of perspiration on your elegant face! Damp underarms, swampy drawers and festering feet! Now what!?

Disaster? No. Because, before you got in that Prius, you remembered a few easy ways to beat the heat, tame the temperature, and stay fresh as a daisy. Obviously, the first step is to turn on the AC in your car, duh.

But you hafta get outta the car at some point — and let’s be prepared!

First of all, natural fibers will be your best friend in hot weather. Linen, cotton, rayon, silk — comfy to wear, and these fabrics will let your skin breathe. Polyesters, nylon, acetate; these will trap the heat and moisture on your delicate skin, and will turn you into a steamed tomato. The perspiration, which is meant to evaporate and escape into the environment, will just stick to your skin. There it will sit, heating you up like a teabag and staining your carefully chosen clothing. And it is really tough to get that crap out of your wardrobe — think the dreaded Yellow Armpit Stain.

Cotton and silk undies are a good bet here, and spend some money on a nice lacy bra — more holes to let out heat! And thigh-high stockings in lieu of pantyhose, which can be just like wearing a nude-color Hefty Bag. Or shave and moisturize very well, and go nekkid on the legs. And if you are sporting some snazzy strappy sandals, please pumice and cream them feet — or spring for a nice pedicure. Nobody wants to see scaly feet.

Summer is also the finest time of the year for sassy dresses! Nothing says “hey lady” like wearing an impudent little sundress, all flowery and girly, with delicate jewelry. Or a well-fitted skirt and a perfectly-pressed top, and some damn pearls. I know when I slip on a silk frock and sandals, I feel like Audrey Freakin’ Hepburn!

A word about one of the world’s finest fabrics — linen. It breathes, drapes and ventilates like crazy. It also has the cachet of looking expensive — cuz it usually is. And it is worth it. Get linen items pressed; this will keep them unwrinkled the longest, and looking their best.

For those of you unfamiliar with rayon and hemp fabrics — get acquainted! Both drape like butter, skim your curves like a sensual caress, hold a press really well, and are colorful as all get-out. They do not have to look like a loud Hawaiian shirt, but are just as comfortable and fun to wear.

I am blessed to be an incredibly sweaty human being, and have learned to deal with it; I often employ a dusting of some kind of powder such as Gold Bond — it works well and feels cool, just don’t use it when you are wearing black! A nice spritz of a light, favorite perfume will also make you feel cool cuz it smells so girly and fresh. Summer is not the time for big sprays of Opium and other heavy scents — you will feel like you are in a trunk full of hot.

I hope we all have a fabulous, cool and frisky summer — and don’t forget the sunscreen!

Lorraine Anderson is the woman in charge of The Occasional Woman alteration and costume creation service based in suburban Philadelphia. Contact her for any sewing needs via email.

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